Today I just feel like penning down my thoughts so this post will just be words and more words. I don't know who have the patience to read these. But they don't need to. Because I'm writing all these for myself. Partly I'm writing this is because today was such a horrible day for me and I felt like nothing was ever going right for me. It has been long since I felt this way and since I entered NUS. But today I felt it again.

Got back my mids and although some were better than expected (except 1101 which I'm still amused how I set a record low for scores in my exams), they still pretty much sucked in general I think. Results aside, today was such a long day, I felt like I barely have time to breathe. And to top it up, I felt so lonely today. It felt like I was back to the miserable Ziqi in Jc1 and Jc2 when it was the period of time where I was just engulfed in negative thoughts all the time.

Despite the long day, when lecture ended at 7.35 at fass, I headed for subcomm meeting that was at science. Was really apprehensive about attending it at first because i know almost no one and I don't want to feel more lonely than I was already. But still, I went because I felt that it was only responsible for me to go since I decided to join the comm. So I went. Reached there and felt sooooo tired. And besides being tired, I was already a person that does not warm up to people easily. So I felt so bad because I was feeling so anti-social and kept my conversations to the minimum. And it is even worse because I'm part of the exco and I felt that I was being a really lousy exco.

But to credit the D,VD and DVD, the meeting was really fun and it did lift up my spirits a little. It is like you feel that tinge of warmth when you see people putting in so much effort :) And at some point of time, I really laughed and it felt good. And even though I keep repeating it, but I'm really glad I made the decision to join this subcomm :)

Wrote a time capsule thing and I wrote a really long letter to the me one year later. To quote one of the things I wrote: "I hope you are happier than the you one year before" This is a resolution I'm really determined to keep and determined to do. It is because I can still vividly remember how much misery I was in jc1-jc2 because I let myself sink in despair. I let myself be unhappy and I justify all my unhappiness. But after entering uni, I realize, it really does not take a lot to be happy. You just have to be happy, to be happy. I have been really happy since I entered Nus, apart from today, so I'm gonna let this happy feeling continue. Although sometimes, I will cut myself some slack and give myself the rights to complain and stuffs, but I must always remember that I can be happy if I want to.

Gonna buck up and live my life with no regrets :)

Today I just feel like penning down my thoughts so this post will just be words and more words. I don't know who have the patience to read these. But they don't need to. Because I'm writing all these for myself. Partly I'm writing this is because today was such a horrible day for me and I felt like nothing was ever going right for me. It has been long since I felt this way and since I entered NUS. But today I felt it again.

Got back my mids and although some were better than expected (except 1101 which I'm still amused how I set a record low for scores in my exams), they still pretty much sucked in general I think. Results aside, today was such a long day, I felt like I barely have time to breathe. And to top it up, I felt so lonely today. It felt like I was back to the miserable Ziqi in Jc1 and Jc2 when it was the period of time where I was just engulfed in negative thoughts all the time.

Despite the long day, when lecture ended at 7.35 at fass, I headed for subcomm meeting that was at science. Was really apprehensive about attending it at first because i know almost no one and I don't want to feel more lonely than I was already. But still, I went because I felt that it was only responsible for me to go since I decided to join the comm. So I went. Reached there and felt sooooo tired. And besides being tired, I was already a person that does not warm up to people easily. So I felt so bad because I was feeling so anti-social and kept my conversations to the minimum. And it is even worse because I'm part of the exco and I felt that I was being a really lousy exco.

But to credit the D,VD and DVD, the meeting was really fun and it did lift up my spirits a little. It is like you feel that tinge of warmth when you see people putting in so much effort :) And at some point of time, I really laughed and it felt good. And even though I keep repeating it, but I'm really glad I made the decision to join this subcomm :)

Wrote a time capsule thing and I wrote a really long letter to the me one year later. To quote one of the things I wrote: "I hope you are happier than the you one year before" This is a resolution I'm really determined to keep and determined to do. It is because I can still vividly remember how much misery I was in jc1-jc2 because I let myself sink in despair. I let myself be unhappy and I justify all my unhappiness. But after entering uni, I realize, it really does not take a lot to be happy. You just have to be happy, to be happy. I have been really happy since I entered Nus, apart from today, so I'm gonna let this happy feeling continue. Although sometimes, I will cut myself some slack and give myself the rights to complain and stuffs, but I must always remember that I can be happy if I want to.

Gonna buck up and live my life with no regrets :)